A New Set of Steps

I finally did it. I have finally, finally walked the talk.

I will act now.
I will have control over my emotions and mind.

I will believe in myself and my actions.

I should be prouder of myself than I am, but as any ambitious person does, I have high expectations for myself. But I need to forget about expectations forever. Expectations all have dubious futures. I want to focus on the moment, second by second. Improvement by Improvement. Idea by idea.

To get up and talk in front of a group of people to help change the world with you is a really hard thing to do, especially if you are a seriously shy, quiet, and vulnerable introvert. BUT GUYS! I DID IT!!!!

I’m so happy all of a sudden I want to cry. There are very few moments in my life where I have been truly and overwhelmingly proud of myself, that I will just cry and cry and cry, because I actually acted for the truth in my heart. Suddenly, with the expression of thoughts, I’ve realized this step I have taken will be one of the most meaningful and provoking moments in my life.

I will never forget the step I took today. I will never forget the angst and worries trying to tick away my heart as the hours past until I exposed my heart. My dream. I overcame that fear, and I faced a crowd of unknown dreams, to radiate to them my own. To share my heart, truth, and dream with them. I no longer have a heart hiding under my terrible teenage skin.

In conclusion, I would like to thank the lord jesus christ-jk. That was my lame attempt at an oscar winning speech. But actually I do thank God, which is something I don’t say a lot, or even write a lot. When I pray, it’s very colloquial. Which is weird because I’m supposedly speaking with GOD, the most supreme force in the universe! He’s like the friend I can ask for help with, to improve myself to then improve the world. Other than the supreme force of destiny, I would like to thank my dad, my mom, and my sister. I don’t think you even understand how much I would like to thank them. It’s more than a simple passing blurb of their names/figures. They mean more to me than you will ever know. They are the reason and the push and the tears behind my first step into a new world. Also my dog, who overwhelms my heart with more innocent joy than I can ever describe in words. It’s like flaming fireworks in my heart every time I see him.

I do foresee many failures, but I see successes as well. The people that have joined me are good, funny, amazing minds that have the opportunity to be amazing citizens of this world.

Sometimes you ask yourself, actually, all the time you ask yourself, “What’s the point in doing anything? WHAT!!??” Even though there doesn’t seem to be a coherent, and justifiable answer, the action of DOING just feels right, instinctive, you know. But there comes a time to enter a higher realm of doing things in your life. Isn’t that where you contribute to the lives of others? To contribute to the planet that shelters and protects you. To respect the living beings also trying to figure out that there really is no point or necessity to human life, or anything life. We were created, I guess, to create a really messed up, entertaining story. Supposedly, we get to write it. Not some predetermined fate, but I can’t help that predetermined fate does have a role in our decisions. Bitch is throwing me off. Anyways, I don’t care if there’s is no factual, coherent point to living. We simply live to avoid pain, to explore, and to find happiness. Living is hard, but it’s really fun and cool.

I am the greatest salesman in the world. Hafid has found the greatest salesman in the world once again!