Do you have writing music?
I think I do. I definitely think I do. MGMT always makes me explore my heart- influencing it to shift through these lows and high of emotion.
Overall, I give this day a B-. I enjoyed meeting up at the library and visualizing for one split second that I was part of a picture of a group of young students discussing ideas, solutions, with furrowed faces and modestly awakened eyes.
Of course, there were some members in the group who “don’t give a shit” (verbatim…), but I don’t care. Even if they say they don’t care, they must have an interest. Otherwise, why would they respond to my questions the way they did. Perhaps you could consider the 10% of kindness even the worst of us preserve for the fragile (me), but what to think of the remaining 90%?
I would really like to get to know people more. I don’t know anymore about socializing, but I would like maximize thoughts and ideas as an observant.
AHHh! Everything feels like a mess. My typing. My face. My heart. I must be feeling lonely and unreasonably depressed. I think I am also scared about my Calculus test this Tuesday. And scared about disappointing others and explaining to future job prospects why I got more than one B the spring of my freshman year.
I heard someone today talking about their dream to become a quality rapper. I want to do that to. I want to live on a beat. I want to intertwine linguistic rhythms with a sick beat that will blow everyone’s mind, including mine and Rap Monsters.
There’s only one way to deal with the guilt. And that’s confronting it head on.
Confront things head on ======. And realize, most people care about themselves more than anything anyways, so don’t sacrifice too much of yourself for others.
As you can tell, today was not a great day.