smiling for who

yesterday night, i started getting really sick. I’m not sure what it was- perhaps a combination of the sprawled out non-meal aka snacks that i ate…but suddenly, after a few sips of the dark roast instant coffee I once trusted, began to betray me cruelly.

im dramatizing things it seems, but when you’re tired and longing for a sweet nap, i guess that’s just how things go. I also have music to set the mood.

what stories to i have to tell. its incredible that the way I see myself is so different from how others see me. as loud as my silent voice years to be, it just doesn’t touch people hearts.

I need to figure out how to find confidence again. It’s incredible how much its plummeted. It started out pretty low, but after my mom said something to me, its just worsened.

Do you think guys desire to be pretty? Sometimes I feel like I can’t even step out of my room because I feel physically bad…ugly. I didn’t care about that before- or at least, I learned how to love myself for who I was inside and out. I legitimately liked myself.

Something happened to me. Something. Studying to epik high is always nice. I have a calc quiz tomorrow I’m gonna ace. Thats right! I’m gonna ace it! Im determined.

until later, when I have more stories to tell. adios!

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